Baconbutty.com | Julian's Scouting Notes
Really Bad Christmas Cracker Jokes
Suffer or enjoy!
The Jokes ↑
Animals ↑
Click on the headings below to reveal the answers:
What you you call a Kangaroo on December 25th?
A Christmas Jumper!
What do you call a penguin in the desert?
Lost!
What do sheep say to each other at Christmas time?
Merry Christmas to ewe!
What do cows say to each other at Christmas time?
Moo-ry Christmas!
Why are turkeys the fastest eaters?
They are good at gobbling!
What do you call a party for polar bears?
A snow ball.
What do elks send each other in December?
Christ-Moose Cards!
How do cows share their christmas pictures with each other?
They use social moo-dia!
What do cows say to each other on the 1st of January?
Happy moo-year!
What carol to horses sing?
A-"neigh" in a manger!
What do frogs kiss each other under at Christmas?
Mistle-toad!
What do dogs decorate their kennels with at Christmas?
Furry lights!
Elves ↑
Click on the headings below to reveal the answers:
What do elves do after school?
Their gnome work!
What do Santa's helpers learn at school?
The elf-abet!
Reindeer ↑
Click on the headings below to reveal the answers:
What is Rudolph's favourite day of the year?
Red-Nose Day!
What is Rudolfs favourite cheese?
Deery-lee!
Riddles ↑
Click on the headings below to reveal the answers:
What keeps falling at the North Pole but never gets hurt?
Snow!
Santa ↑
Click on the headings below to reveal the answers:
Why do environmentalists ban Santa from coming down the chimney?
Because he leaves carbon footprints in the lounge!
What do you get if Santa treads in dog poo?
Jingle smells!
Why don't you ever see Father Christmas in hospital?
Because he has private elf care!
How do detectives find their presents?
They follow Santa Clues!
Who gives presents to lions?
Santa Roars!
What do you hear in the North Pole after Christmas is over?
Santa Snores!
Who delivers presents to Sharks at Christmas?
Santa Jaws!
When does Santa play computer games?
The Fortnite before Christmas!
What kind of phone does Santa use to call Mrs Clause?
A "mince pie-Phone"!
Why does Santa use Chimneys?
Because otherwise he will get the flue!
What is red, then white, then red, then white?
Santa Claus rolling down a hill.
What did Santa say after returning to the North Pole?
There is snow place like home!
Silly ↑
Click on the headings below to reveal the answers:
Who hangs from a Christmas Tree and sings "White Christmas"?
Michael Baublee!
What is green and camps at Christmas?
A brussels Scout!
Why are christmas trees good at sewing?
Because they have lots of needles!
Snowmen ↑
Click on the headings below to reveal the answers:
What was the snowman doing in the carrot patch?
Picking his nose!
What does a Snowman order at McDonalds?
An "Ice-Burger".
What do you call a snowman on a beach holiday?
A puddle.